I wish you could visualize this song I'm hearing, here-ing. I thought of L.Bangs today. And his war with L.Reed. MMM. I could use a little shake up. I was a tornado tonight. Unpeppy. I smiled at the end, it was good. New things are everywhere. I'm surrounded by nice folks. I am trying to relate to them...not a lot of common cultural ground. I have grown tired of teaching. Presenting culture seems so thankless. People always get it, on their own time. I have saved $400 in a month. I can do better. I need to pay pat H, that cash I owe him.
podcast on tuesday night: metropolitan educational systems. tired of reacting to other people's insecurity bullshit. GREAT EXPECTATIONS/STILL NEVER DISAPPOINTED. the year 1066 showed us nothing. I never shoot civillains. I've had more drinks bought for me in the last 3 weeks than I have in my whole life. I'm a dreamer, watch me come up with something. respect (we'rebusyallthetime)space. A lot to read tomorrow. this is a happy house, we're happy here/ in this happy house/ we're just fine.______________+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wait. Maybe, just maybe, by providing stability and Love, I can calm people's insecurities, then turn doubt on it's head-----make doubt something useful...
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STEADY/CAREFREE/TWO DAYS REMOVED FROM MY LAST CIGARETTE/STUDY SECRET HISTORIES/7 FOOT GLOWWORMS CHASE ME PASSIVELY/ THEY HAVE NO CHINS/100 PUSH UPS/ 500 SIT-UPS/MILES I WALK/ HAPPILY/SEE-THROUGH SOULS/NIGHT DRIVE/HAVING ALL I NEED/UP HERE GETTING REALLY REALLY GOOD AT EVERYTHING/ FOUND MY PEN, FOUND A FRIEND/ MET A GIRL/ METAGIRL/ MICROGIRL/ BEING REASONABLE BY DEMANDING THE IMPOSSIBLE OF MYSELF/TIME SCOOTS ALONG/GOODTHINGS GOODTHINGS PROUDMAN PROUDMAN/ WRAPPING MYSELF IN SUEDE/CONTENT WITH THE NEW LIFE I'VE MADE/I WORK PATIENTLY IN CALM/ ANTICIPATING MY RETURN/ MARX OR MORAL SENTIMENTS/?/DOUBTLESS/I LIVE THE HIDDEN FORTRESS/ I LOVE THE OPEN GARDEN/TEND TO IT/PERPETUAL GROWTH MOTION MACHINE/ PSYCHIC MESSAGES SENT HEART TO HEART/BUSY ALL THE TIME/FREED FROM NEED
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
The largest font.I defined confidence today: Being sure of one's abilities to create desired outcomes. I refuse to a life wrapped in a chokehold blanket of fantasy. My reality is more interesting.There are two cars to sell. One is a break even. The other is a true loss. My intuition is 80% correct 20% of the time. Spot on otherwise.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Synthesize MeHypnotize MeEnergize MeI Love to See You ShineYour Heart Beats Like A DrumHammers When You CumDon't Patronize MeYou Really Blow My Mind-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Character note for TAKE IT EASY ON THE NORMALSIn the beginning, the protagonist empowers his lovers. He wants no followers. They always leave him. He is has nowhere to take them past the immediate. His past is secret, his future does not exist. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I am fearless right now. Unfuckablewith. I can't believe that I led my life for so long under this great big cloud of guilt, well deserved guilt, mind you. Now that I'm 7 months removed from all the bad decisions and lies….I am hopeful. Maybe hope isn't the correct word. I have a measured expectation of success in anything that I do. This isn't an irrational confidence, but more of a I know what I'm doing and all I have to do is stay focused. I am free, strong, and motivated. I am cutting all of the obstacles down to a manageable size. A little here a little there. Try something new, even if seems already a known quantity. Although the circumstances constantly change, the emotional spirit does not. The core is solid. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------There should be a book on appropriate cell phone etiquette.
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NEWSFLASH: ONE HAND KILLS THE OTHER-CLAIMS INSANITY BY CEASELESS WASHING
by Christian Bauer on Monday, 12 September 2011 at 17:47 ·
As I endure the great unravelling of my life ever accelarating with vindictive coldness, I think, "what a faulty world I have created! Poor choices at critical moments compounded by the lack of contingency planning, etc allows for this setback serve as the catalyst for personal "...k sas;dglhqe. O.K. CB IS fuckd FOR SURE, RIGHT? Well maybe this aspect of myself ought to be killed to death by circumstance and farewells, left broken alone. Actual sustainable positive personal growth could use the mental real estate, I'm sure.
STREAMLINE ALL. LOVE, RESPECT, AND LISTEN MORE. TRY YOUR DAMNDEST TO NOT ALWAYS ENVISION THE LIGHT AT THE TUNNELS END AS DREAMS AND RELATIONSHIPS IN FLAME.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
2am,
by Christian Bauer on Tuesday, 8 February 2011 at 03:05 ·
headache, louis c.k., game theory, can't decide which side i'm on, make pleasantly ugly music, sick of identity changers (that's just the top layer, they are who we thought they were, i've got more in common with who I was, than who I am becomin'), I should be enjoying everything, like my latitude/don't always like my attitude, I've lost my closest friends, I'm sure they're in that rubbermaid box somewhere, like my space, don't look at my face (especially my eyes!) ha. "Wow, you're really on it."
hmm, just wait until tomorrow. sigh
the gift, velvet underground. Waldo Jeffers....(thank god that's not going to happen to me!!!)
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• Patrick Hudson and Whitney Ater like this.
◦ Christian Bauer by the way, there's no message here. just extemporaneous thoughts...8 February 2011 at 03:06 · Like
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Jamie Tincher I bet there's a hidden message if you read it backwards.8 February 2011 at 03:24 · Like · 1
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Quentin Serafin temporary8 February 2011 at 03:49 · Like
◦ Christian Bauer yeah, yeah. that's right.8 February 2011 at 14:20 · Like
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Patrick Hudson did it feel good?9 February 2011 at 02:17 · Like
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